12:00 am zulu - location: Zivity HQ, San Francisco
The air is thick with excitement. I’m undercover at the Zivity headquarters investigating the disturbing development of a society in the South Park section of San Francisco devoted to the empowerment of women. This society is hosting a major “recruiting” event this evening with the new Batman movie, “The Dark Knight“, as the main attraction.
But what’s the connection between Zivity and bats? According to Wikipedia, the bat is of the order Chiroptera, which comes from the Greek words cheir “hand” and pteron “wing”. I can only assume Zivity is giving wings to female artists and thus the connection to the bat. Naturally, every society needs a superhero and Batman is the obvious choice. I’ve been undercover at Zivity for over a month now acting as a dim-witted Ruby on Rails programmer. Each day I have to ask stupid questions of my ever-patient colleagues. I look for the daily shaking of their heads or rolling of their eyes to confirm my cover is still intact. Tonight is the night where it all pays off as I gather evidence that will help stop this juggernaut.
05:00 am zulu - location: Metreon Theater, San Francisco
I arrived at the Metreon Theater with little fan fare. It seems this is an invitation affair, so the only the most susceptible to the Zivity message will be attending. Lately I’ve been worried the Zivity name has gathered too much strength due to the heavy marketing. I was greatly relieved when an enthusiastic Xoopit employee asked me to vacate my seat in a nearly empty theater. I mentioned I was with Zivity and he gave me that “so what” look I was hoping for. My fellow officers back at the precinct asked me to not put details of the movie in my log, they apparently are hoping to see the movie. The movie itself was uneventful, there were no overt attempts to hypnotize or recruit the attendees. I did discuss the movie with several of the kinder, gentler employees of Zivity who thought the movie was a bit violent. At the risk of including a spoiler, I will say the movie did not contain any decapitated bodies spurting rivers of blood as is so common in today’s video games. But you’ll enjoy the movie anyway.
10:00 am zulu - location: DNA Lounge, San Francisco
The ingenious Zivity organizers arranged for the “recruits” to meet at a local well-known bar to meet and befriend each other. The highlight of the evening was a video documenting a Zivity photoshoot.
It’s Not Porn - A Documentary (Trailer) from Cianna Stewart on Vimeo.
My assumption to this point has been the models on the site are super-realistic renderings of beautiful women by the latest 3-D imaging software. This video must have been produced by the team that produced the Apollo 11 moon landings and directed by Michael Moore. Surely so many beautiful, sexy women can’t exist, it has to be a conspiracy. Suddenly, the stage was filled with Zivity models and photographers. They were all very happy and friendly, how could this be? Isn’t it a fact that artists are paid only once when they contribute content to a site. How can they be happy?
Then it occurred to me. I know from my Zivity training that models and photographers share royalties when a member votes for their photoshoots. So the artists have recurring revenue - it’s not a one shot deal! No wonder everyone is happy. Members can interact with beautiful women and artists can actually be compensated! It’s a brilliant business model! Brilliant and terrifying. There’s no stopping them now. I hope I can drive home safely. The free world is depending on it.
